photo taken by Angela Speiker

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Happy Gotcha Day Miss Emers

**apparently I am having issues with uploading pictures, sorry!** I will work on it later, sorry!

6 now, getting so big

This was taken on the day you officially became a Pankewich


You can't help loving KState

Our little golf ball, first Halloween

Hanging out with Mommy in the backyard

Looking for "big fish" in Alaska

Mango has been at your side since you were 5 months old!

Trying to walk in Daddy's shoes

Playing in the Gulf on the shore in Texas

How long have you loved horses? Forever!


I'm this many! 2 years old helping bake your cake

In the bluebonnets near our house, love spring time in Texas

On Calvin's Gotcha Day, showing your skills at being a great big sisterPosted by Picasa

Emerald Rea Pankewich we love you so very much! 6 years ago today we were filled with butterflies in the pit of our stomach as we drove to Gladney to bring you home. We had a great discussion over the final decision on your name, Emerald Rea minutes before we got you. (Emerald is after a grandmother named Ruby, another great-grandmother Pearl, and in honor of your Hispanic heritage, Esmerelda. Rea is after the island we honeymooned on, Moorea, an island of Tahiti, and during our honeymoon we thought of you as we thought that the name Rea would be a beautiful part of a little girl's name).

We got the call on Monday, after work. Kim, our case worker, called to see if we'd be interested in a little girl, 6 days old. My mouth had dropped to the floor in disbelief. We'd waited for 5 years for you. We'd started the adoption process a year before that. We had filled out more paperwork than you will ever imagine. We'd asked for references, written autobiographies, sat through interviews, shared personal information, prayed about you, cried for the idea of you, and finally, finally, we were going to get you for our very own! Kim told us about you, and gave us the phone number of the transitional care family in which you were currently living, Miss Angela.

**side note: She had actually flown to Midland, TX, to pick you up from the airport. You were born in Odessa, and the mayor's wife, upon hearing your story, drove you from the hospital to the airport. Miss Angela traveled to Midland, got off the plane, changed your clothes, and got back on the plane to head back to DFW. She took care of you for 6 days. At the end of those 6 days, she placed you in our arms.

Miss Angela was great with me on the phone, assuring me that you were great, what diaper size you were in, what formula you were on, etc. I only heard about half of it. I still couldn't believe you were ours! We were blessed with an amazing shower at our school on Wednesday, so very pink it was! They offered us so much of what we needed to prepare for your arrival. Thursday morning we drove toward Gladney about to change from being the 2 of us, to a family of 3! We waited patiently in the placement room at Gladney while they put the outfit on you that we had chosen, and then they opened the door. The tears in my eyes kept me from seeing you perfectly that first moment--I was so happy. They placed you in my arms and I just melted. I know that in a family kids aren't supposed to be in charge, but secretly, you could have had the moon at that minute if you had wanted it, because after waiting for 5 long years, I was so in love with you. People ask if it is the same with an adopted child--if you do fall in love with them. The answer is a profound YES! Your sweet eyes looking into mine, I knew that I was forever in trouble!

You have filled our lives with so many smiles. We captured all your 'firsts' on camera. We tried hard to teach you right from wrong as you learned all the newness over the years. We are still in a process of teaching you how to be the best person possible. While you still have my heart, you are so totally a daddy's girl it is unbelievable! You love him and he loves you so much. As we have added to our family, you have happily welcomed your brothers with open arms. Your love for your brothers is amazing. You are beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and an all around good person with such a caring heart. Thank you for making us learn how to be parents and how to love someone so much it hurts. I've heard that being a parent is like having your heart walk around outside your body. This is so true. When you hurt, I hurt, when you laugh, I laugh, when you are happy, I am happy. I love you so much. Happy Gotcha Day my sweet girl!

**As an adoptive parent I have had moments where I feel bad. To be honest, I have forgotten your birth weight, or birth length. There are moments I don't know which city you were born (Midland/Odessa is so close to each other and they are both part of your story). Until we were signing your official papers, we thought you were born March 16, but seeing a paperwork showing your hearing screening said March 15. What parent doesn't know the correct date of their child's birth moments before holding them? However, all of this doesn't matter. The days we didn't have are not what I ever focus on. I now know that your birthdate is March 15. I can tell anyone in the world that the moment you were placed in my arms was in FW, TX, in a lovely placement room at Gladney. There was a beautiful rocking bassinet in the room. The spring sun was shining thru the windows. Your crazy hair was all over the place when I first saw you. You had a little half smile, half happy, half nervous, upon first meeting us. You were taken to the doctor the next day and checked out perfectly, umbilical stump still attached. You were 9 days old when they let us take you home. You looked awesome on bold, bright colors. You were so tiny we had to go and get some smaller clothes for you. Your little neck wasn't strong enough, so the first place we stopped after leaving Gladney was Babies R Us to get a better neck support for you. We took you home, shared you with our family & friends, and were head over heels in love with you. We shocked many at church that Easter weekend with our precious gift, as they had no idea our lives had changed. The cantor was a friend, and in the middle of singing in front of the entire church, she stumbled upon her song b/c she looked at us and saw you. She couldn't even sing b/c she was as happy as we were. Why yes, our lives had changed suddenly, but not really. We had agonized over wanting you for 5 long years. We had sweated over paperwork hoping to get approved to wait for you. I won't feel guilty any longer not faithfully remembering the details of what happened before we met you, because each and every memory created after that moment 6 years ago today, I have forever etched in my heart. I love you!

3 comments:

Michelle said...

So beautiful. Lots of tears.

Lisa said...

Such a sweet and touching story. Emers is so much to have such loving parents. It makes my heart smile.

Jenn Ross said...

Beautiful story, beautifully written, and beautiful little girl! :-)