Happy Gotcha Day Miss Emers

**apparently I am having issues with uploading pictures, sorry!** I will work on it later, sorry!

6 now, getting so big

This was taken on the day you officially became a Pankewich


You can't help loving KState

Our little golf ball, first Halloween

Hanging out with Mommy in the backyard

Looking for "big fish" in Alaska

Mango has been at your side since you were 5 months old!

Trying to walk in Daddy's shoes

Playing in the Gulf on the shore in Texas

How long have you loved horses? Forever!


I'm this many! 2 years old helping bake your cake

In the bluebonnets near our house, love spring time in Texas

On Calvin's Gotcha Day, showing your skills at being a great big sister

Emerald Rea Pankewich we love you so very much! 6 years ago today we were filled with butterflies in the pit of our stomach as we drove to Gladney to bring you home. We had a great discussion over the final decision on your name, Emerald Rea minutes before we got you. (Emerald is after a grandmother named Ruby, another great-grandmother Pearl, and in honor of your Hispanic heritage, Esmerelda. Rea is after the island we honeymooned on, Moorea, an island of Tahiti, and during our honeymoon we thought of you as we thought that the name Rea would be a beautiful part of a little girl's name).

We got the call on Monday, after work. Kim, our case worker, called to see if we'd be interested in a little girl, 6 days old. My mouth had dropped to the floor in disbelief. We'd waited for 5 years for you. We'd started the adoption process a year before that. We had filled out more paperwork than you will ever imagine. We'd asked for references, written autobiographies, sat through interviews, shared personal information, prayed about you, cried for the idea of you, and finally, finally, we were going to get you for our very own! Kim told us about you, and gave us the phone number of the transitional care family in which you were currently living, Miss Angela.

**side note: She had actually flown to Midland, TX, to pick you up from the airport. You were born in Odessa, and the mayor's wife, upon hearing your story, drove you from the hospital to the airport. Miss Angela traveled to Midland, got off the plane, changed your clothes, and got back on the plane to head back to DFW. She took care of you for 6 days. At the end of those 6 days, she placed you in our arms.

Miss Angela was great with me on the phone, assuring me that you were great, what diaper size you were in, what formula you were on, etc. I only heard about half of it. I still couldn't believe you were ours! We were blessed with an amazing shower at our school on Wednesday, so very pink it was! They offered us so much of what we needed to prepare for your arrival. Thursday morning we drove toward Gladney about to change from being the 2 of us, to a family of 3! We waited patiently in the placement room at Gladney while they put the outfit on you that we had chosen, and then they opened the door. The tears in my eyes kept me from seeing you perfectly that first moment--I was so happy. They placed you in my arms and I just melted. I know that in a family kids aren't supposed to be in charge, but secretly, you could have had the moon at that minute if you had wanted it, because after waiting for 5 long years, I was so in love with you. People ask if it is the same with an adopted child--if you do fall in love with them. The answer is a profound YES! Your sweet eyes looking into mine, I knew that I was forever in trouble!

You have filled our lives with so many smiles. We captured all your 'firsts' on camera. We tried hard to teach you right from wrong as you learned all the newness over the years. We are still in a process of teaching you how to be the best person possible. While you still have my heart, you are so totally a daddy's girl it is unbelievable! You love him and he loves you so much. As we have added to our family, you have happily welcomed your brothers with open arms. Your love for your brothers is amazing. You are beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and an all around good person with such a caring heart. Thank you for making us learn how to be parents and how to love someone so much it hurts. I've heard that being a parent is like having your heart walk around outside your body. This is so true. When you hurt, I hurt, when you laugh, I laugh, when you are happy, I am happy. I love you so much. Happy Gotcha Day my sweet girl!

**As an adoptive parent I have had moments where I feel bad. To be honest, I have forgotten your birth weight, or birth length. There are moments I don't know which city you were born (Midland/Odessa is so close to each other and they are both part of your story). Until we were signing your official papers, we thought you were born March 16, but seeing a paperwork showing your hearing screening said March 15. What parent doesn't know the correct date of their child's birth moments before holding them? However, all of this doesn't matter. The days we didn't have are not what I ever focus on. I now know that your birthdate is March 15. I can tell anyone in the world that the moment you were placed in my arms was in FW, TX, in a lovely placement room at Gladney. There was a beautiful rocking bassinet in the room. The spring sun was shining thru the windows. Your crazy hair was all over the place when I first saw you. You had a little half smile, half happy, half nervous, upon first meeting us. You were taken to the doctor the next day and checked out perfectly, umbilical stump still attached. You were 9 days old when they let us take you home. You looked awesome on bold, bright colors. You were so tiny we had to go and get some smaller clothes for you. Your little neck wasn't strong enough, so the first place we stopped after leaving Gladney was Babies R Us to get a better neck support for you. We took you home, shared you with our family & friends, and were head over heels in love with you. We shocked many at church that Easter weekend with our precious gift, as they had no idea our lives had changed. The cantor was a friend, and in the middle of singing in front of the entire church, she stumbled upon her song b/c she looked at us and saw you. She couldn't even sing b/c she was as happy as we were. Why yes, our lives had changed suddenly, but not really. We had agonized over wanting you for 5 long years. We had sweated over paperwork hoping to get approved to wait for you. I won't feel guilty any longer not faithfully remembering the details of what happened before we met you, because each and every memory created after that moment 6 years ago today, I have forever etched in my heart. I love you!

Just some fun photos

 
 
 
 
 

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More snow pics

 
 
 
 

I love the one of Calvin, walking back to help Z stand up after he fell for the 100th time. It was pretty sweet.

They call this Spring Break?

 
 
 
 

The kids started Spring Break today, with 3" of snow! It was actually fabulous b/c the weather was warm enough to play, and take a walk in the woods near our house. We bundled up and played for nearly 2 hours outside. Zac is finally getting steady enough to walk for several steps w/o falling down. Laney loves it when we walk in our wooded area between our house and the train track. She has such a great time jumping through the weeds--shows that her breed is a hunting breed for sure. The snow was gorgeous, piled upon each branch, laying along the fence, just showing off every flake. It was funny to see it resting upon Zac's eyelashes.

More pics of our Pop Pop

 
 
 
 

I couldn't help putting a few more pics of our Pop Pop.

Our beloved Pop Pop

 
 
 
 

Our beloved Pop Pop made his way to heaven on February 11, 2011 (02-11-2011) after a long, hard-ought battle with brain cancer. This has been a long, long 8 months for him, Cheryl, and all his family and friends. Skip was able to be at his side as he passed from this life and on to the next, and for that we are grateful. It was an incredibly sad week, to say the least. We hurt for Cheryl not having her life-long companion and best friend at her side any longer. We hurt for 3 children losing their father so early in their lives. We hurt for the 6 grandchildren who won't be able to hear Pop Pop put his finger inside his mouth, pull it out, and make his famous Pop Pop sound any longer. We hurt for his friends that will no longer have a hunting buddy, or someone to joke around with.

The week after his passing was spent together, with family. We were able to have all 6 grandchildren (all under the age of 6) together, keeping the house filled with life. It is difficult to look at them and not recognize that life does continue, and that memories are so dear. Our newest family member made his first appearance in Kansas, sweet baby Eli Walter, our 8 week old nephew. He was such a joy to have around showing us the real circle of life. Eli looks so very much like the pictures we were going through of Walt as a child. The kids played outside (thankful we had nice weather in Feb.) and kept the house cluttered with toys. I think Cheryl was appreciative for all of her family being able to stay together with her at such a difficult time.

We were all able to share so many stories and memories that week. We repeated key phrases that Walt would always say to us, especially when we were about to leave the house or head to our homes. We went through his fishing items knowing that they would be passed on to younger hands to throw into the water--sad that Pop Pop wouldn't be able to point out the perfect spots to us anymore. The songs we heard reminded us of his whistles, singing, and happy smiles. There was a slide show created by a friend that was amazing. I am thankful that my kids will be able to watch this DVD and keep Pop Pop's memory alive. There were so many kind, sweet, generous people who came to the house to share memories of Walt, offer meals, kind words, condolences, assistance in whatever way they could. It really reminded me of just how much Walt & Cheryl have done for their community, and for the friends and family that loved them so much. We were blessed by having family members travel from several states away, in the middle of their crazy lives, during winter time, to be with us. We were blessed by so many people.

For Skip & I we were trying to be strong for Cheryl. I was probably a nag reminding her to take her meds and keeping her off the phone. We were trying to cope with this loss personally. We were also trying our hardest to help hold our children's hands as they dealt with the loss of their grandfather. It was an incredibly tough couple of weeks, filled with difficult discussions with curious little minds trying their hardest to fully embrace what was happening around them.

Walt meant the world to us all. He will be missed so very much. His offers to help anyone in need, his worry as we would get on the road, his offers to help a little one with a meal, tie their shoes, hold a bottle, reading stories to his grandchildren, his gentle nature, his hard working ethic, his sense to allow his children to be who they wanted to be, his excuses to avoid diaper changes, his faith, his determination, and his kind, sweet heart are just a few things that made him into the strong husband, brother, father, grandfather, and friend that he was. He touched so many lives. He is a great example of someone to emulate. Pop Pop we love you. We will think of you each time we see the geese flying overhead, a pond that looks perfect for fishing, every time we hear a Beach Boys song on the radio, or every single time we see kindness in this world. Thank you for being our teacher, our father, our friend.

This is a link to Walt's obituary, for those interested.

Computer issues

This was an old photo I stole from a previous blog. Calvin got into Emerald's 4th bday cupcakes while I was upstairs. Silly me for leaving them in a locked container, at the back of the counter, stacked with something heavy on top. Where there are cupcakes, there's a way! 2 years has flown by!!


Wasn't my new year's resolution to keep up with the blog? Yeah, just when I was going good, we have issues with our computer. For some reason, it feels wrong for me to do the blog w/o a picture or 2. Skip has been working hard at resolving the issue (he is so much wiser than me in the computer world). So, hopefully all will be better soon.

We have been trying to stay warm. This morning we baked cupcakes for Calvin's birthday (which is Friday). It was so sweet to hear my kids giggling, see their smudged noses covered in batter after licking the spoon, sharing sweet comments like "thanks for having a birthday Calv", and the little voice of Z saying "more bite, more bite". Calvin looked at me and said, "you're the best, mom". All that for cupcakes. Those are the moments mommies live for.

It is supposed to dump more snow on us today, so we shall see if we have school tomorrow. Calvin has been to school twice in 32 days. Emerald has only been 7 times in that time span. The winter blah's are setting in. We received a great gift in the mail this week, a Wii game for Dance for Kids. It has great kid music (age appropriate), and asks the kids to do dance moves to the screen, and they compete! Let's see, there's music, dancing, competition, laughing, and using up some of our energy--what could be better?! I love it! Thanks Kelly, great gift.

We finally took down our Christmas stuff this week, kind of late, but we were enjoying it. Now it has been replaced by miles of train track, and wooden blocks (we stole those from Nana, Daddy used to play with them as a kid), horses, and forts. Our house looks like a constant playground, but that's ok with me.

I'll add more pictures as I figure out the new system.

More catch up

 
 
 
 

I absolutely love this picture of mom with Zachary. It truly captures life for me. The one of Emers is how I found her in bed one night--always clutching Mango, and holding her wand with such a smile. I also adore this pic of Calvin--he is growing up so fast. Zachary & Josiah love spending time together and smile so big when they see each other, while calling "Hi Iah, Hi Ack".

Update on Walt:
Walt had a pretty serious seizure about 3 weeks ago. Luckily, nothing was really wrong, just one of the side effects of his condition, in other words actually fairly normal (whoever ddetermines normal anyway). After this the doctors highly recommended Walt go back into a care facility. this is something Cheryl had been considering anyway. Walt began living in a wonderful care facility in Mac the next day. It really is a great place, and the nurses really seem to care about the patients. Walt has continued some of his chemo and this, along with the seizure, and the move, have made him really tired. We are continuing to pray that 2011 brings healing for our family.

Playing catch up

 
 
 
 

I think, perhaps, that my New Year's Resolution shall be to do a better job at keeping up with the blog. I apologize, but I truly have had a lot added to my plate recently. Here are a few pics from most recently. I love the one where Bullseye was helping watch over the stable in our Little People Nativity set. Emerald & I went to a Beauty & the Beast play and had a great girl's night out.

I have a lot to update, including news about Walt, Zachary turning 2, and all the other happenings around here. Stay tuned for more :)

H...O...M...E!!!!!!!!!!

 
 
 
 

Walt is finally home! He's been home for about 2 weeks now, and they are settling into a routine. The first week was busy getting things figured out, setting up visits with therapists for evaluations, and adjusting to being out of the house for nearly 5 months! We are so happy for them. Cheryl is the primary caregiver, and that has been challenging. Luckily, many people have offered their help with transfers, meals, cleaning, offering help with rides, etc. If you'd be willing to help, feel free to call Cheryl at home and offer your help.

Walt had a doctor visit yesterday and got his next round of chemo straightened out. He is finished with radiation, and his first round of chemo. He got a small break, and will begin again. This round will also be a pill-based chemo, so Cheryl should be able to give it at home with no extra trips to the doctor.

We want to continue to thank everyone for their prayers, thoughts, and offers of help. I know that many of you have wanted to do something for the last several months. I know Cheryl is constantly creating her "honey-do" lists, and is needing some help with transfers and possibly meal companions. Even if you can offer to help sit for an hour so she can get a break, I know she'd appreciate it! Thanks so much!!