Zach is now a "feeder/grower" baby, and the other 2 are a little spoiled!

Calvin was waving at his brother saying good-bye. It was so sweet, he did this all on his own. Don't you just love how long his hair is right now? It was our plan to cut it before Christmas, but hasn't happened yet. Poor child!

Emerald was quite curious to touch her brother in his new "house"

Nana and Pop Pop finally got to meet their grandson.

Calvin touching Zach's foot. He did such a good job of being quiet. Zach must have magical powers.

This was the best picture I could get for now w/o his nasal canula in. More of this new look to come later.

A very curious Calvin seeing his baby brother for the first time.

You miss a day or 2 and can't remember what all I need to report!! I got to visit the hospital yesterday and today, thanks to my wonderful family!! Yesterday I was an emotional basket case, ask Skip. When I got there, I had the nicest nurse and she asked if she could do anything, I was crying. I just told her I "needed" to hold my baby. She said of course and in lightening speed she had him in my arms. I don't know why, but I just had that urge to hold him!! As I sat and just loved on my baby boy, they were operating on the baby in the cubical behind us. It seemed like a fairly routine procedure, but don't know exactly what it was. I was just sitting there thanking God that Zach didn't need any surgeries! We have been so lucky with him!! After the surgery was over, and I was just relaxing with a sweet sleeping baby on my chest, the baby that had the surgery crashed. It was super scary being able to hear doctors and nurses frantic, running, rushing to do what they could to save the baby. She is fine, thank God, but it turned this emotional mommy into a completely tear-filled woman. I couldn't stop crying and I know I squeezed tiny little Zach maybe a little too tight. It is all relative, in my world. Is his a regular, normal delivery? No, but we are so fortunate b/c he is doing awesome, and compared to many in the NICU, he has very low needs, which is great news!! We just continue to pray that this continues!

Zachary has really upped his feedings!! He was at 16 mL's Sat., then by Sun he was up to 32 and is at full feedings!! He has continued to tolerate it all well and has little or no risidual with each feeding, so he is digesting it all. Way to go little Z man!! This will only help pack on those pounds. He is now up to 3 lb 8 1/2 oz which is up from 3 lb 6 oz a few days ago. We love to hear he is gaining. He also got his IV line out, b/c he is getting no more IV fluids, antibiotics, or anything extra, just straight milk (thru a feeding tube in his nose). It is awesome to see it out of his foot, b/c it looked so uncomfortable. I had one in my arm for 3 days and it is so sore right now, bruised, and I didn't want that for him. So, besides the normal wires monitoring temp, and other vital stats, he only has his feeding tube! The nurse today called him a "feeder/grower baby". This means we feed him and watch him grow big and strong--yea!! The nurse today was pregnant, due March 5, about 2 weeks after Zach's original due date. It was weird to see her pg and know that basically, that was me just 10 days ago. How much can change in a blink of an eye! Makes you stop for a prayer of thanksgiving for what you have when you have it!! The baby beside us and across from us are set to go home this week. It is great to see that discharge will happen, eventually! The twins on our row left for Dubi (sp??) this morning. Guess Zach is going to get some new neighbors soon, or hopefully not at all, but as full as the NICU is I would think someone will come soon.

On the home-front we are losing Skip's parents today. They just left for home. I can't begin to tell them, and my parents, enough thank you's!!! I know I gave my sis-in-law advice recently, "let the company help you, that is what they are there for. Don't worry about asking for help!" Man is that a lot easier said than done! I totally suck at asking for help--way too independent. This is a life-lesson moment for me, and it is very difficult having to lean on so many people to help us out. We have been so thankful to have extra hands around, mostly for the big kids for now. Skip is taking off work starting tomorrow this entire week, and my mom is set to come the following week. We also have people bringing us meals-thanks!, and many other offers of help. I need to accept the fact that we need help right now, and know that I'd expect the same of someone else in need. It is just hard! Please encourage me in this area of life!!

I went to church yesterday. It was hard being at church. I specifically remember the time when we first brought each child to church--it was such a special moment b/c we got each child on the Thurs/Fri before Easter. So, we took them to Easter service. We had just been at church Christmas Eve, and since then have been thru so much, yet the church looks the same. We talked with our neighbors at church after, and they asked how I felt, not even knowing what had happened. So weird to know how fast life can change. It will be a precious moment for me to first bring Zachary to church with his siblings.

Emerald came with Nana yesterday to drop me off at the hospital. She and Nana then went to McDonald's and had a fun time! She also opened another Christmas present from Aunt Gracie and Uncle Ed and loved her new princess dress. She (and Calvin) have loved wearing the heels around the house. She admitted that she was "the princess" and told us a couple of times that "the princess doesn't like that." We will have to see about that!! She has been quick to bring the tears, fast with the word "no" and difficult to fall asleep at night. She goes back to school tomorrow and hopefully that will help with some "normalcy" for her. I keep reminding myself that they, too, have been thru a lot and that this is probably tough on their little minds to comprehend it all and understand why we aren't there for them as much as normal. Calvin has been quite the stinker, asking for Nana when things don't go his way. He seems a little less bothered by it all, but after all he still has his precious big sister around to boss him around, life is normal!! Luckily they have had the hords of new Christmas toys to help distract them for the most part, and a whole lot of love from grandparents, an aunt and uncle, cousin, and friends. Maybe with daddy home this week "whipping this place into shape" things will feel a little more normal??? Maybe not!

I am recovering as best as I can. I am still pretty sore, but seem to be getting a little stronger each day. I have to admit, it hurts! We stopped at Toys R Us and Target after the hospital (which was after church) yesterday and I felt it by the time I got home. I hit a wall. I am doing well and then just fizzle out! I am trying to rest as much as I can, eat well (not much of a problem there) and devote my energy to loving on all 3 of my kids. I do have to admit emotionally I've been up and down, but I truly feel I have the right! I have a baby in the NICU, and any mommy in that situation has every right to cry a little, right? He is doing so well, though. Holding him seems to fix a lot of my weepiness and helps remind me that yes, we do have a newborn, and yes, he is doing well. I hope Zachary isn't going to end up spoiled, b/c I can see when he comes home I am going to do a lot more holding than I did with my other 2. That is just the way it is for now! I figure if you add up the number of hourse, he will have missed out on so much his first month, we can average it all out by the time he is a few months old. I do have to say, that Skip's back is much better now, and thank goodness! He was down and out for a few days and I was really starting to worry who would end up taking care of whom this week!

Keep praying for Zach, for my recovery, for a sense of normal for the big kids, and for Skip who is a work-horse right now. Pray that Nana and Pop Pop recover, and that my mom rests up before next week! Thanks to everyone, for everything! You are all what help make us survive these days