Happy New Years to all!

Zachary wide-eyed and loving the mommy/daddy time and attention.

Cal loves his new dinosaurs.

Emers-"the princess doesn't like this" says she in Cinderella dress and holding a dinosaur. We opened more gifts tonight, thus the odd outfit.

Zach in his new bed. Note the lobster on top. He's still our lobster!

Man I love holding him.

So sweet.

Daddy having some quality time with his boy. He looks especially little in Skip's hands.

Wow, it feels like I need to post a lot of info. We came home yesterday. It is the oddest feeling leaving the hospital w/o a baby in hand when you came into the hospital with him in utero. We were discharged from the room, then went up to the NICU to say goodbye. While we were there, they asked if I wanted to hold him--duh. However, I waited as Skip was loading the car at the time with all our stuff. When he got to the NICU he finally got to hold his little boy. What a sweet moment for both of us. Unfortunatly, the camera was taken to the car, so I missed this wonderful photo opp. Zachary was so responsive to us as Skip held him. We were both talking to him, and his eyes were fully open and he was turning toward each of us listening to us talk. He was also doing the ohhh and ahhhh with his mouth, too. What a sweet, incredible time with him. They have been feeding him thru his tube and he is handling things great. They also lowered the amount of oxygen he gets, almost to room temp percentage. This is great news! Zach just keeps making his baby steps with forward progress. Leaving, though, turned me into an emotional wreck. We just walked out of the NICU, empty-handed, and walked down to the car. Loading up the car with just me, and driving away. Yes, I cried. Yes, I know, you don't have to tell me--it is the best place for him, he is where he needs to be. I know all of this, and it doesn't make it any easier!!! It hit me really hard at home. I LOVED seeing my sweet munchkins, and they seemed pretty excited to have Skip and I home. All the sweet comments from both kids, and the hugs. It made it such a sweet homecoming. Emerald saying prayers for her brother to get strong so he can come home--ohhhh so sweet. They were also very sweet to me, not wanting to hurt my owwie.

I will share a sweet moment, that may be too much info for some of you. If this is you, skip this paragraph! I am on a schedule trying to pump every 3 hours. We knew that this would be interesting when we came home. How would the kids try to imitate this action? Emerald was 100% intrigued by the pumping and watching the "milk for Zachary" come into the bottles. It is interesting, b/c if I was actually nursing a baby, they wouldn't be able to actually see the milk. This makes it a little more real maybe. She was cheering me on, "way to go mommy, good job" and proceeded to announce to the house what was happening. "Pop-pop you want to see?" was maybe the funniest comment of all. It is all such a fun learning experience for them all (even us).

Surely after Zach comes home we will get to explain and imitate an entire new process!

Last night, New Years, found everyone in the Pankewich household in bed before midnight. Sad, but it just didn't feel much like a holiday and we were exhausted. I feel asleep after bawling my head off. Hormones, pain, leaving Zach, and seeing the big kids just really got to me. My poor sweet husband! He is a trooper and being such an incredible partner/friend to me when I need him most. We are sure that Zach celebrated with all the other babies in the NICU having some champagne/milk cocktail and whooping and hollering together. :)

Today we rested at home for awhile. We also actually finished opening some Christmas presents tonight. Quite the long week it's been! Skip and I headed up to the hospital for a few hours which felt really good. When we got there, Zach was in a new bed. He has been moved to an isolette which is a good step. His feedings have gone well today, too. They are hoping to take the bili lights off tomorrow. We got to hold him for about an hour and a half. Skip started by holding him and he was so alert. Again, his eyes were open and he would take turns turing his head from each of us as we spoke to him. I'd say he was awake for about half and hour or more. This was such fun for both of us! We really appreciated being able to have this time with Zach today. After Skip held him, I got a chance, too. I also got the opportunity to take his temp and change his diaper!! I felt like a brand new parent changing the diaper. It's not like I haven't done this before! Of course, doing this inside the isolette with all the cords attached and his preemie diapers that are still too big for his little bum. It was so not easy! Steph, don't laugh at me! Hopefully we will get more used to this as time goes on. I do have to say, everyone in the NICU has been wonderful, and patient, as we continue to learn each new step of this process. It was sad leaving the house, b/c poor Emers thought that maybe we were going back long-term. She seemed pretty sad.

Tomorrow the big kids are going to T-Rex and Cabella's with Pop-pop and Nana. That should be a fun day for them (yeah, they deserve that right now). Skip is going to work again, and I think I will go up to the hospital for a long stay. Then, it's the weekend.