This is what they call "rooming in"

Yes, I am finally going to post these words, "we are planning to bring our Zachary home tomorrow!!" I am currently "rooming in" with Zach and he is doing fantastic. We spent the night together last night and will again tonight. Then, the plan is bring him home tomorrow!!!!!!! I can't believe it. Tomorrow is 6 weeks from the day he was born. Tomorrow is supposed to be 70 degrees, which I jokingly suggested to Skip earlier this week would be a great time to bring him home. Does it get better than 70 in Kansas in February? They said there might be thunderstorms, which is funny b/c he was born in the midst of one of those odd winter thunderstorms. It's weird tot think that I should have still been pregnant. I could have easily been packing my bag yesterday to head to the hospital to actually deliver a full-term baby. Instead, I was packing my bag to come to the hospital to stay with my nearly 6 week old baby. I have been blessed with his health. I have been blessed with the opportunity to have had 6 extra weeks to get to know him--his likes/dislikes, attitudes, personality. I love every part of him. This experience truly has taught me so much. Just as Heidi reminded me, I have been given the gift of realization of all of our health. I am thankful that my older children have been healthy. Emerald and Calvin are such a joy and I am so lucky to have them in our life! I am thankful that I have a husband to help and support me through this life. Skip is my best friend, my partner, my person who knows me better than anyone else in life, the person who shares everything with me. I am so lucky to have him in my life!! I am thankful for family, for I don't think I could have done this at all w/o you all helping us out both physically and emotionally. I am thankful for friends, who continue to come out of the woodwork to offer us assistance to make it thru this experience. I am thankful for Zach, who has been such a trooper thru this ordeal. He continues to thrive and I know he will be a fighter during his life and he will always remind us that everything is relative, so don't stress about the small stuff.

So, enough emotional happiness splattered all over!! I'm just a little happy, a little giddy if you will!! Rooming in means that Zach and I are in a hospital room, not his NICU room, just the 2 of us. He is still attached to monitors, but the plan is that he will not be going home with any (super-way yee-haw). The NICU nurse comes down every 3 hours to check his vitals and make sure he is doing ok. My job is to take care of him and feed him. Nice, huh? I get to finally be mommy to this precious baby boy. Skip and I were visiting Zach Wed night. Skip was literally about to walk out the door when the NNP (neonatal nurse practitioner) was walking in. So, Skip decided to stay for her assessment. Then, the Neonatologist came in, Dr. Weatherstone. I kind of got worried, b/c usually both don't come in at once. They were assessing Zach. They then got to talking with us about his status. Skip brought up the dreaded question, "when are we going home." They didn't deny it!! They asked if there was any way that we could do a 24 straight hour breastfeeding session. Most of Zach's de-sats come with feedings. However, they only happen when he is drinking from a bottle. I jumped at the chance! Thank goodness Nana could come and watch the kids for us to make this work out. Like I said, our family has been awesome helping, both sides!! So, last night I left the house to come up for 2 night's stay in the hospital. So far, so good! No spells at all since Monday.

It is a bittersweet moment for us leaving the NICU though. Silly as it sounds, I know! It is hard leaving the other babies there. There are babies that deserve, like Zach, to go home. There are mommies and daddies that deserve to bring their babies home. I want Zach home, but I also want to allow them to go home, too. I feel awful walking away and knowing that they are still there. I have formed bonds with these people. We have been thru so much together. You just want what is best for these families. I want Dawson to go home. I want Isaiah to go home. I want Miranda to go home. I want Kingston and Kingsley to go home. I want Alicia to go home. I want Sofia and James to go home. I want the others that I can't remember their names to be able to go home and start their lives outside the NICU. I know they will have their day, but I just don't want to make them feel bad as we are walking out the door with our boy. In talking with a fellow adoptive mother, she commented that it is like receiving a baby at placement. You want the baby so badly, but you hurt so much for the birthmother who no longer has this part of her life with her. It is funny how Zachary's birth has allowed me to focus on my adoptions so very much. I love each child's birth story! Each unique, each one special.

Nana and Daddy are supposed to bring Emers and Calvin up today to the hospital. We are excited to get the chance to bring the kids to a hospital room to see Zach. Maybe it will be a little better than taking them into the NICU!! We haven't taken them up lately b/c we are next door to Dawson and he is super sensitive to noise right now. Yeah, Emerald + Calvin=noise. So, b/c we care so much for Dawson's care, we have not wanted to create more chaos for him. We know that other families would do the same for us were roles reversed. However, that means that the kids haven't seen their brother but twice since New Years. With Emerald's comment the other day, and Calvin always asking to go see "Zak-ry" we feel they need to see him one more time before we show up at home with this new little brother. Hope that goes well!

We are also eagerly anticipating a special visit from Laura and Simon in a week. We can't wait to meet our nephew!! I hear he is doing super fun things and is already 5 months old. He'll seem like a monster compared to our little Z-man! Have a safe trip and don't worry, you'll do fine with traveling with him.

I'll post more later. Keep praying that Zach continues to do well with his super-special mommy time!